Ana

Around 9 am today the doctor said "We should get her started on liquid diet"

-Ana! Would you like some juice?

-Yup Please

-Or Tea?

-Whatever...

-Get her a room...we´ll get her out after the hemodialisis is done

We where standing there...in the middle of the ICU...

Around 12:15 a.m. we got down to the ICU again to check on another patient...they where cleaning her up..."they´re getting her ready" i said to myself...but by the time we where done with our patient my supervisor was trying to show me something and when we turned our backs...we saw ana...totally wraped on a yellow blanket...with stickers wih her name...

She was old...but not that old...she had pretty eyes and her hair was dyed in a reddish brown...on monday she tryed to talk to my supervisor and i saw a young man holding her hand, touching her hair and talking to her...today she was finally stable after 10 or 12 days...she was going down to a room...but in just a few hours she was gone...i´ve heard and is like a fact that before people die actually there´s a point where you seem to be recovering...

As cliché as i may sound...actually i´m not gonna say anything i don´t have to explain...is just that i have never been surrounded by this kind of things...

By the time i was leaving the clinic a lot of people where there...this young doctor got up with me on the elevator "i came to visit a friend...his granny just died" he said to a nurse...

who was she? who else did she leave behind? did she had a chance to say goodbye? did she knew she was loved?? did someone told her that before she died?? did she got to tell someone anything she might have wanna say?

about nurses...well i´ll better talk about them another time...

Lack Of...

Inspiration? Creativity? Originality?

So...I´ll go for a lyric again...one picked for the ocasion based of something that hapend to me this friday at a gig..but with a pic of my own to go with...

babahhh babahhh This Is The Sound Of Settling!

I've got a hunger

Twisting my stomach into knots

That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Our youth is fleeting

Old age is just around the bend

And i can't wait to go grey

And i'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been
If i'd only thought of something charming to say.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling Baa bah, baa bah

Things happen when they´re the least expected...but sometimes as i proved thursday you have to make things happen! if you want something you can make it happen!

21 things (original)

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?

Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion? But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine?
Politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
Are you funny?
A la self-deprecating?
Like adventure?
And have many formed opinions?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure
In the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? More than three times a week? Up for being experimental? Are you athletic? Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? Are you not addicted?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Curious and communicative...

Random Facts About

-M has taken some of the pics you see on this blog.
-M likes photography, cause it frozens time....which for her opinion goes by too fast.
-M likes to drink now and then...on her own.
-M dislikes people in groups (she might be agoraphobic).
-M likes to cook but hates to wash the dishes.
-M overthinks.
-M doesn´t like to wear brigth colors, she wears them sometimes in accesories.
-M used to bite her toe nails.
-M loves green and brown.
-M is an alpha girl.
-M is a green apple (the juiciest one, said her mom once).
-M loves to have her nails painted in dark but vibrant colors, specially red.
-M is a people person sometimes, but most of times has trusting issues, so she barely has close friends.
-M is a terrible dancer...so she basically jumps around.
-M is trying to let korny into her life.
-M is kinda narcisistic but she just hides it too well.
-M likes all her things weird (people, movies,music,objects).
-M is a really really good driver.
-M is always in a rush.
-M loves old people and kids.
-M lies a lot less than regular people.
-M accidentally ripped off some eyelashes on her right eyelid like a month ago and they haven´t grew yet!
-M is kinda androgin.
-M has a childlike spirit (she´s not childish).
-M will love and even touch if she´s allowed any living creature.
-M is an idealizer.
-M used to practice capoeira and swimming.
-M likes to clean, keeps her mind blank.
-M likes to sing along.
-M loves gigs.
-M loves smart and clever guys, she loooves Ivan Matta and Enrique Lazo.
-M likes healthy food, but is easier to eat junk food.
-M has a pink cell phone, which is weird, her mom was caugth out of guard by her choice.
-M likes to use the word "particular".
-M knows how to do some "home improvement" as in with men tools and stuff.
-M is a helpeless romantic but she hates to admit it.
-M is sometimes a lil bit paranoic.
-M enjoys silence.
-M cries a hell of a lot with movies and books and tv shows.
-M doesn´t watch a lot of tv.
-M is pretty contradictory, eclectic and messy.she is a walking contradiction.
-M is hella good misreading signs. and that sucks.
-M enjoys make people laugh.

I Like Plans

I do...a lot...i like having plans...it makes me feel safe...and organized...even tho i don´t complete all of them...i like to have my things organized and writen on paper..i don´t do it often tho..and i dunno why...

Well i haven´t writen in quit a while...so a quick view of my life this past month:

I started and finished sucesfully (not only cause of 20/20 grades!) but beacuse of all the life lessons, and connections (as in networking) i did...i met all of this wonderfull people...and i looove my super (supervisor) jhonny...he´s actually quite awesome.

I also started work...i have (since like december) a domicliary patient who´s quite awesome too, she´s a 94 year old lovely lady with the coolest sense of humor who had a femur fracture...she´s walking and stuff but they (her daughter, her nurse and her also 94 year old husband!!!! still want me there...and i´m also doing like sustutions for day at this quite prestigious clinic (clinicas caracas) to one of my former teachers and some of his coworkers...is quite awesome...tho i´ve come to realize by my own experience how quickly money slips out of your hands.

I´ve also come to realize i don´t wanna grow up! i mean i don´t wanna work full time and shit...like that jamie cullum´s song that talks about working 9 to 5 and living for the friday nights! Hopefully i´ll get to grow up but in a sane way!

In order to do that thing i´ve called "grow up sanely" i´ve been doing all of this plans...i won´t reveal yet...i will once each one starts developing!

I met a guy...it was quite awesome...i mean at least busted my ego and made feel pretty cool..i was at a gig with some friends and one of my girlfriends bumped into a friend and they were talking when i came up...he had a death from above 1979 t-shirt -he was actually wearing pretty cool clothes- and i made a comment on it and on his pins and then left cause i wanted to get a poster they were giving away...after that i saw him outside when my friend left and just smiled...a few days after when i opened msn i had a new contact... "hi miss...is the guy with the death from above t-shirt"...it was cool that without even noticing it or without intention i´ve left an impression...

I have this patient at the clinic...she made me so freaking sad the other day...she´s a 24 year old girl...with a TCE (traumatismo craneo encefalico) she was hitted by a car in her way to work...the other day i had her on the "cama de bipedestacion: is a bed for her to stand up (she can´t do it by herself) so you make her lay down and basically tie her up to the bed and then make the bed go vertical" so she was standing right in front of me...she can´t talk but she does understand every word you say...i asked her to hold my hand to do some exercises, but she kept looking me with her big eyes...her long dark hair was chopped on a side in order to put a valve and she has all this marks...a traquetomia...and several scars...i felt so sad... i mean life is a game, life is like a progresive rock song...one moment one rhythm, the next moment a totally different beat, and that´s freaking scary...but hey we gotta live!

The other day around 6pm i was done at my internships so jumped to my car and the moment i started driving i had this feeling i´ve never had it was like the certainty of something bad happening to me before i got home...thanks God nothing actually happened!

My super kept making fun of me cause some of the boy´s i was working with (patients...i was in a pediatric area -that i looooove-) where "in love" with me...that was way too fun!) and flattering!

I´m gonna go to bed...and have fun tomorrow...is weird i haven´t been as happy as usually...like there´s something missing....still in a good mood C=

I´ve been watching a lot of movies...that makes me happy...i saw donnie darko today, pursuit of happynes and this one with cameron diaz and kate winslet and jude law and black jack...i loved it!! i love movies and dressing with sense of humor! C=

.Don't make me live for my friday nights.

That´s a line from Jamie Cullum´s twentysomething. (the one in the tittle..not the one in the image)

lately days have been running all over me...all over us...time goes by too quickly...and i´m a messy person...a procrastinator...

today kinda suicked...and i´m tired...i´ll go to bed like right about now...i´ll need some excitement this weekend..and some sleep too!!